When creating an internet dating profile it’s all about putting your best cyber-foot forward. All your wit, charm and intelligence wrapped up in a few paragraphs. So why is it that people who can write such great dating profiles cannot seem to carry that same editing over to actual “live” dating?

Perhaps its the hormones. Those silly chemicals, making us all nervous and happy and giggly and, oh yeah, completely (apparently) incapable of discerning what constitutes appropriate dating conversation.

When I say appropriate, I dont mean that in the sense of right and wrong. There is no right and wrong. Be yourself, be silly, feel out whats right in each individual situation. Youre dating savvy enough by now to know that all the best rules are the ones we figure out for ourselves.

That said, by appropriate first date conversation, I mean things that are most likely to make the fabulous first impression you deserve. Ive experienced and heard enough first date horror stories to be practically an expert on what verbal landmines are waiting in all of us to put a big black mark on an otherwise great first impression.

Here are a few things to not talk about. Apologies if they seem obvious, but remember the hormones! Theyll make you forget what normally seems obvious. So maybe, just maybe, if I write it down then Ill remember what not to say when game time comes and maybe if you read it, youll remember too. Heres hoping.

Your ex

This one goes at the top because not only is it the most common conversational mistake on first days but often its the most detrimental. Everyone knows that we all have romantic history and whats more, its not uncommon for many people to start dating again before theyre completely whole and healed from their last relationship. Thats not necessarily a bad thing; everyone has to decide for them when its time to get back in the game.

Since first dates are all about optimism and the hope that this one will be different, it’s never, ever a good idea to talk about your painful and troubled relationship with a past lover. Your train will derail before it even leaves the station. Relationships go wrong, but there’s no need to talk about it on a first date.

Family issues

Save the drama for a later (much later!) date. First dates are about fun and cheerful. By all means talk about where your parents live and how many brothers and sisters you have. Don’t even think about mentioning Mom’s ongoing depression and Dad’s drug dependency. There’s no need to lie; just keep it positive. Bring it up now and you’ll only scare your date away by making him or her afraid of your family, and potentially of you.

Getting Married and Having Children

You may desperately want to say “I do”, but talking about marriage on a first date is a great big no-no. So don’t do it. Ever. You may think that you are being goal oriented, but trust me, you’ll come off looking desperate and a bit pathetic.

Ditto talking about babies and that includes how many you want and how soon you want them. If this fledgling relationship is going to lead somewhere nice, there will be plenty of time to discuss this at a later date. The first date isn’t that time.

So those are the big three. Some experts advocate staying away from religion and politics; advice with which I disagree. Healthy adults should be able to have an intelligent and open conversation about both of these topics. If they’re too set in their ways or uptight about either, then ask yourself if you really want to date them.